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Friday, March 14, 2008

Foxy Gaelic

If you want an excuse to go out this weekend, then here's one: St.Patrick's is Monday! So celebrate early and start TONIGHT! No doubt hundreds of others will be doing the same.
So being the crafty fox that I am... I'm here to try and help you get lucky with a few tips (free of charge, of course):

#1. Buy a boy a drink. Just ask a fox if he's Irish. If he is: Great! If he isn't: That's OK, too! You can still buy him one in the spirit of the Holiday. Of course, you have to have the money to do it, but no doubt it's a great way to start a conversation. If you don't have the cash on hand, then see #2.

#2. Claim that you're Irish, and demand tribute. Even if you don't look anything like a pale, freckle-faced red head, claim that you "share the same JEANS". No one will suspect you don't mean "GENES"! And if for some bizarre reason they do figure it out: I'm sure at some point in your life by now, you've borrowed somebody's pants, and most likely that person was somehow related to an Irish person. Now that there are believers in your midst, why not demand a drink, or better yet a kiss on the cheek? (...or somewhere else perhaps?)

#3. Wear green underwear. This may seem strange, but it's an excuse to show off, and perhaps catch someone's attention. You don't have to buy new underwear either. If you don't have a pair already, just get a green Sharpie marker and draw clovers on it. Heck, just scribble green marks... who cares? Oh. I should mention that you can wear regular clothes ontop, just as long as there's a bit of green to flash. You may get someone else to flash back.

#4. Write "Tabhair póg dom" accross your chest, belly, arm, face, etc. and don't be surprised by the shower of kisses you'll receive! That's how you write: "Give me a Kiss" in Irish Gaelic. You can use that useful green Sharpie marker mentioned above!

That's FOUR hot tips that are sure to make your outing more enjoyable. It's all about being friendly, fun, and FOXY. And if any of you foxes out there actually take my advice: I want to hear about it!!

Happy pre-St. Patty's... and may your mouth always be wet! ;)

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